Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
