Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
