so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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