I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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