I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
