Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
one might say we're banned from that church
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
