before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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