It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
