Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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