butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
