the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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