Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
