Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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