just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
