Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
