weddingsv make me drug and hornr
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
