in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
