Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
