Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
