I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
