I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
