oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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