What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
