Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
