i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Randomize
