end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
