i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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