I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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