I CAN MOONWALK!
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
