you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
