I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
