I think im going to throw up on grandma
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
