i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
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