When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
