My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
