one might say we're banned from that church
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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