You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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