i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
