I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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