garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
