Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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