weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
