the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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