i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
