Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
