Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I did not marry a roomba.
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