I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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