Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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