we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
