I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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