Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
